Taking a Break to Recharge

 

Holiday snap

 

 

Finding time for yourself to enjoy some time away from the routine and challenges of everyday life can have the biggest and bestest affect on your life and your outlook!

You may have noticed that the blog, Facebook and Twitter feeds were a little stagnant over the past week or so and wondered where’s Sarah gone? Well, some of you did and thank you to those who emailed to ask if I was OK!

We went camping!

The thing is, I went on holiday and didn’t schedule any posts to go out while I was away.  Not because I didn’t have time or that I thought you didn’t need them, just that I needed to give myself some space to clear my head, take a well needed break and refresh myself. It was really quite liberating and has given me the drive to get more out there for you – things t help you, things to get you thinking and things that will get you excited and motivated! (and the best bit was that I didn’t even feel guilty for not leaving anything going on!)

twitterlogoLike restarting your computer when the programmes run slower, YOU need to turn off and turn on again when you need to refresh.

My boyfriend and I took a trip up to Scotland on the coast of the Solway Firth on the South West coast to enjoy some camping, walking and delicious fresh air.  We most certainly got the fresh air when we arrived and were setting up our tent in 27 miles per hour unsheltered coastal winds!  But you know what? We now know that we can do it and in only 2 hours! ;-)

In the past we have been extremely guilty of burning ourselves out and then being forced to take time off only to end up ill and run down for the actual trip – I can tell you that being ill when you are on holiday is awful as you end up pushing through and not giving yourself time to heal and mend!  So now that we have learnt our lessons (ahem, after about 4 times of trying) we now make time for going away and having ‘Lazy Days’ where we plan to do nothing on a Sunday and schedule it into our dairies.  We even stick to them! SHOCKER!

Do you make sure that you take some time for yourself to get away from the daily stresses and strains?  What could you do in addition to the things you already do?

Experience something new

No matter what your situation or budget, you need to make sure that you take some time away from the daily grind of life by stepping off the roller coaster and seeing something new and different.  Just the experience of seeing or doing something different can have create a vast improvement in your mood, outlook and perspective.

We were able to stretch our budget to be able to go camping (which is super affordable and really gets you back to the earth and fresh air… although you can take an airbed, power and comfort if you don’t want to be sleeping on the floor!) and means that you can explore other parts of the country and surrounding areas. Also, we were amazingly lucky to find that to add a bit of luxury to our trip we could get affordable access to the private onsite spa facilities!*

holiday spa

Were we were located, we were right on the coast which provided us with a stunning view and also the perfect place to walk and enjoy the fresh air. There were also loads of animals for me to pet and feed (I am a crazy animal lover and can’t really go very long between petting animals – my other half even joked about testing me to see how long I could go without touching an animal! Not very long, I can honestly say… even if the head Llama spits at me – oh that’s another story and there are pictures to go along too!!)

If your budget is tighter, you can take a holiday at home.  No I am not being silly, I have had many a holiday at home and “staycation”.  It might sound like you will be doing the same things as you normally would, but you won’t.

A holiday at home doesn’t have to be boring, you just need to do something different.

One of the best things for me about any holiday I take is turning off my social media and emails and leaving my phone on ‘Do not disturb’ as I can really step away from my daily life, which evolves mainly around internet and contact.  To holiday at home, you can start simply by turning off your social networks and letting people know that you are having some time away from the crazy world – so that they don’t ring you or start to fret that you aren’t as active on Facebook/Twitter as usual.

Then you can plan your adventures!  Get up earlier…or later.  Go for a walk around the area where you live and notice the things around you, take different routes and aim to walk down streets that you have never visited.  Be a tourist in your own city or town, see the touristy things and take pictures as though you were somewhere new. I do this one regularly and I learn something new each and every time.

Treat yourself to some time where you do nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  Sit and relax, think, do the things that you ‘don’t have time for’ in your regular life.

See, it really is as simple as taking some time out.  Removing yourself from the distractions of life and learning to see and do things in a different way.

Holiday beach

Here are some tips for your holiday at home or mini retreat

1. Turn off your social media

By taking a break from your social media you will clear your head of all the things that other people are doing and be able to concentrate on yourself.  I promise that you are not going to miss the biggest piece of news and to be honest, does it matter anyway?  If like me, you want to be completely out of the stream, don’t turn on the TV or radio either!  Instead, listen to your own favourite music without the intermissions of bad news and information or adverts!

2. Do something different

Go for a walk somewhere you have never been before, be a tourist in your own town or city, exploring the buildings, streets and places of interest – look up and take photos to create your holiday album!

3. Make time for yourself

Do things that you don’t have time for when you are doing your daily routine like reading, sitting under a tree in the park, people watching or just simply doing nothing….without feeling guilty!

5. Get some rest

Relax and gets some sleep – it might sound simple and possibly a bit boring for a holiday, but getting lots of rest will really rejuvenate you and restart your system.  On our camping trip, we were in bed by 10:30 every night without fail!

 

Remember, it is not where you are, it is what you make of it that really matters!

 

What will you do for your holiday?  What tips do you have for others taking a mini break on a budget or at hone?  

Share in the comments below…

*We don’t have a spa facility at home so to make the most of it in our modest little way, we fill up washing up bowls with lovely water and your choice of essential or bubble bath and sit back and relax.  It may not be a hot tub, but it certainly creates the same relaxing effect! (:

 

Fed up of Pity Parties? Try Self Celebration!

Want to find the love of your life Look in the Mirror - Byron Katie

 

I am sure you will have had your fair share of ‘Pity Parties‘ throughout your life either your own or those of others and know that they are far, far, from the expectations of a good party.  In fact, they are absolutely crap and boring!

Are you fed up of pity parties?

For some reason people seem to find it very easy to fall into the pity party mode and mope about and feel sorry for themselves – you know what I mean? – and much more difficult to throw a self celebration instead.  Is it because self celebration is like being big headed, saying ‘ooh, look how great I am!’ and that makes us feel uncomfortable?

To be honest, I love bigging myself up!  I really do think that I make great achievements every single day and I love to pat myself on the back, give myself a treat and say ‘WooHoo! I am who I am and I am brilliant!‘ (honestly, with practise you will find that it gets easier and easier to honestly shout about how great you are!)

How would you feel about doing bigging yourself up?

It is Friday today and the perfect opportunity to look back on the week and see how far you have come.  What was great about it?  What did you achieve that was remarkable?  Have you done something that you didn’t realise that you could do? There are guaranteed to be things that you can celebrate from your week so note them on paper, your phone or keep them in your mind.

Prepare for your self celebration.  It can be alone or you could invite some friends to join you in throwing their own self celebrations with you.  Share this post with them so that I look like the crazy one ;-) and they will see the reason behind it.

By celebrating your successes, you will feed into the good feelings inside you and help to build a strong resilient side that you may not have realised that you had.  By being kind to yourself and recognising the things that you are really good at you are compounding the knowledge that you CAN do things and do them well too.

You will know that I mention this a lot, but it is entirely true,

What you feed grows, what you starve dies!

So venture out into the world of celebrating you and feed the good feelings inside!

Let me know how you get on, take some pictures to share or comment with your achievements and we can celebrate together.

YOU ROCK!! #SelfCelebrate

Feed the Love: A Letter of True Love

You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anyone in the entire universe!

 

 

When was the last time that you really showed your self some true unadulterated love?  You can’t remember?  Then you are in the right place to get started with writing yourself a letter of true love!

You deserve some self love!

Ok, you might be thinking ‘what the heck is she talking about?  Writing a letter to myself? What?!‘ and you might be quite right that it may sound a bit odd and that I am a bit weird to suggest it but trust me and come with the flow

When I was studying for my NLP Practitioner I wrote myself a postcard (not quite a love letter, more a letter to my future self) and posted it.  It contained my aspirations and my intention to build my confidence in walking on stairs (I am not sure I have  written a post about that, but it was a long-term injury that I obtained through falling down steps and had many other incidents containing stairs and bad injuries, so really a HUGE issue for me).

Anyway, I digress…

I wrote myself this postcard to encourage my future self to carry on and to reflect on the journey and achievement I had made in the time that I had written it and when it landed on my mat when arriving through the post.  The best part was that I received some post that wasn’t a bill or junk or marketing – it was special and just for me.

The feeling was great and as I read the text written in my own handwriting, I really believed it.  I was drawn into the information and felt really connected with what it was saying AND I had actually come a long, long, way since writing it.

It was this that gave me the idea of writing letters of true love to yourself – I actually do this regularly when I feel that I need a bit of a boost and need to feed the love within me – everyone gets deficits at sometime or another.

Pen a love letter to yourself

So what I am suggesting today is that you find some lovely paper and a pen that you love to write with (you know the kind that make your handwriting look amazing for some magical reason!) and take yourself aside somewhere wonderful to write yourself a letter of true love!

Remember to address it to yourself and start the way that you meant to go on  including all your best points.  Think of it as writing a letter to the person you love the most, seeing all the great points and not the niggly things that they may point out to others.  You are amazing and individual and you need to spot and detail all those great things in yourself.  If you are feeling creative decorate the letter, spritz it in your favourite scent and cover it in pictures that make you feel wonderful inside.

Be honest, though, as you need to really believe it!  

Once you have completed your love letter sign off and seal it into an envelope with a kiss.  Pop your address on the envelope, stick on a second class stamp and pop it into the post with all the love that you can send it with.

Now you can just get on with whatever you have to do today, play, work, having fun knowing that your self-love is within you and is also winging its way back to you spreading joy on the journey.

Let me know how you get on and post a picture over on Facebook or Twitter for others to see! #FeedTheLove

Say What the Heck & Take the Leap

You cant just wish for things to happyn you ave to do something to make them happen - Sarah Irving - Your Happy Life

 

Have you ever thought of doing something that made you smile from the inside out, light up and grin from ear to ear only to not do anything about it because of the fear of failure or falling flat on the pretty grinning face?

Of course you have!  I think we all have!

To be honest, it is so easy to miss out on the things that make us truly light up because of fear of rejection, of failure or because of beliefs that we will never get picked and that ‘they won’t be interested in me’.

Sound familiar?

I know from first-hand that it can be really hard to take that leap of faith and literally ‘just do it’ (to claim the slogan for Nike).  Despite the wonderful feelings that I have had about doing something, my mind will kick in will all manner of ‘you can’t’, ‘you won’t’, ‘really?’, ‘are you kidding?’ type rubbish that eventually leads me to think that they are right so sweep the idea underneath the eternal carpet of fun stuff and walk away.

Well, sometime ago just before I quit my job, I had an ‘AH-HA’ moment that made me realise that I need to try everything and anything.  Really, what is the worst thing that can happen?  You don’t get the thing you are asking for?  You get turned down?  You feel like a failure?

You know what? It is nothing that I haven’t successfully overcome in the past!  

So today, I took remembered that Ah-ha and threw it into my own life!  I contacted a VERY successful person that I admire and asked whether he would consider being my mentor and helping me out! EEEEK!!!

It came about from chatting with my coach this morning while trying to find ways to help me to move forward and to help me find direction to making Your Happy Life a great asset to you, the people who benefit from it and that will only get greater things as I (and the project) grow.  I mentioned this certain person (I’m not telling you who it is…yet!) and my coach reflected about how much my eyes and personal lit up with excitement and joy!

Oh my goodness! I am SO EXCITED at just the simple thought of it!

I could actually feel it inside myself,in my heart, my head and my very flustered face!  Good thing my image on Skype was shadowed as I am positive that  must have looked as red as the beetroot in my salad!

That feeling told me everything that I needed to do.  I needed to say ‘what the heck’ and take the leap anyway!  So I did.  I drafted an email through smiling eyes and a grin that could have consumed the whole of the UK and pressed send!

I have no idea of the outcome, but am optimistic that something (anything!) will come from it and in the meantime I will enjoy this feeling of absolute excitement, joy and giddiness while I wait!

If there is one lesson that I share with you today is to find the things that make you feel like you have fallen in love for the first time, like you could explode with excitement, run around screaming with joy and tell every singe person you see that you have just followed your gut and are glad that you have!

 

twitterlogoThe world is your oyster and you can only get your oyster if you take the leap into the sea!

 

What makes you feel like the world is yours for the taking?  What could you do today to say what the heck and take the leap anyway?

If you have had any moments like this in your life or you are taking the leap with me, please do share your experiences!  I need others to be giddy with today! EEEK!!

Comments below!

Why you need to Release Your Inner Child

Play is the highest form of research- Albert Einstein

 

 

I am sure you have caught yourself wishing you could be carefree and playful like you were when you were a child.  Before all the trimmings of adulthood took hold and made you serious and responsible and upstanding.

What you are getting wrong there is that you can be playful and have a successful life and career.  In fact, the more playful you are the more successful you will be, because:

“Play is the highest form of research” Albert Einstein twitterlogo

I know a lot of people who are in awe about how uninhibited I am even in public spaces and ask what my secret is.  They say that they would never skip down the centre of Manchester Market Street (the very busy main part of the city centre) because someone could see…

twitterlogoMy response to that is ‘really?’… ‘of course people will see!’

My thinking is that yes people will see me being silly and daft.  They might think and say things (OH NO!) but I won’t ever know what they say or think and to be honest, I don’t care.  That is their business and not mine.  I am busy playing, learning and enjoying myself. If I make people laugh and smile, all the better!

Being able to release your inner child will help you to increase your confidence, your self-love and resilience to the world around you.  You will feel a greater sense of freedom and light in your life.  I can promise you that the simple act of being Black Beauty and galloping around singing the theme tune was a great savior for me on Sundays before work (at the place that was sapping me!)  It filled me with good mood and intention and catapulted me into the week filled with joy.

You don’t have to be quite as extreme as me (I am happy in my odd little world!) but doing something silly or daft every day will help you to develop your skills in play.

Here are suggestions that you can try right now:

  • Make up your own lyrics to songs that you hear on the radio – it can be about absolutely anything?  Add in your pet’s names or people who you know.  Sing in gobbledygook and sing it loud!  If you’re feeling brave, sing out loud in public!
  • In a park or open space (where you’re not likely to hit someone) spin around and make yourself dizzy then lie on the floor and watch the world spin around.
  • If you have some friends also looking to expand their play repertoire, grab them on a break for a quick game of tick or hide and seek outside of the office and make sure that you all get tired out!
  • Laugh for no reason.  Just giggle away, make yourself really chortle and belly laugh.
  • Make up a silly personalised story and share it with a friend.  If you’re feeling really playful and creative then illustrate it too.
  • Skip through town, the office or anywhere that feels good to you. Skip high and bouncy and really get yourself out of breath – this is great for fitness too!

What else could you do?  

Share your own silly play ideas below in the comments. Or share how your experience was doing one of the suggestions! 

The Truth About Confidence (That You Probably Already Knew)

 

Sometimes the biggest confidence boost is to delete the toxic people from your life - Sarah Irving Your Happy Life

 

Most of us will be able to remember a time when we needed a bit more confidence or even a trace of confidence!  There are times when we feel absolutely great, in our stride and others where we feel flimsy and lacking in the boost of self-belief that can move us forward in the direction we want to be going.

twitterlogoHere’s the thing.  Even the most confident of people aren’t as confident as you think they are! 

 

Confidence is all about belief and understanding of your own personal experience and this is why it is such a complex thing.  Confidence is kept well inside of us (you can feel it when you have it and you know when it isn’t there) yet it can be quickly and easily bruised by other people and situations.

I personally know how something seemingly small can put a huge dent in your confidence.  I had a colleague who would question my every move (micro managing) me which lead to me becoming seriously lacking in confidence at carrying out my own job.  Because of this, I began to hate the job and I stepped onto a slippery slope of self-confidence bashing and slowly pushed myself further and further away from my confident base.  It even started to affect other areas of my life, making me think I couldn’t park my car properly or write my blog…  I now know that all that was completely wrong, I’m a great at parking, I am a successful entrepreneur and I have started an additional blog (this one as it comes).

The thing is, we don’t choose to lose our confidence. Nor do we choose to let other people take it from us. It is merely a process of repeated action and creation of beliefs.

By this I mean that because of my colleague’s action to question my every movement, I started to think that he had reason to doubt me.  I then created a new belief by listening to him and repeating the thoughts over and over and over until they were well embedded and squashing my self-belief and confidence.  Although my colleague was a catalyst, it was all my own doing.  I was feeding the wrong thoughts and letting other people’s words influence my own thinking.

All too often we compare ourselves to other people that we believe are better than us in some way, that they are more successful, more beautiful or generally more confident. What we actually can’t do is truly know that as a FACT.  We are creating an image of ourselves and projecting it onto other people that we don’t really know inside out.  You see, we are the creators of our own confidence slips and trips.  As I mentioned earlier, even the most confident people aren’t as confident as we think they are.  They, too are carrying out the same elf destructive self-analysis and projection as you are!

We need to realise that we are all human, in every wonderful shape and form that makes us so very unique and individual.  To keep our confidence we need to see our own strengths and powers that lie within us.

Take my work experience for example. If I really was bad at my job, then why hadn’t my boss taken me aside and said something?  Why were my annual reviews (I hate the word appraisal!) so good and filled with positive response?  Why did my (other) colleagues help campaign for a pay rise for me?  The facts pointed in the direction of me being great at my job!  But I just didn’t see it.  What I have realised is that my colleague was putting his insecurities onto me.  He wasn’t doing his job properly and was taking it out on me.  I honestly don’t think it was malicious, but I also don’t think that he realised what he was doing. (not that it is an excuse for the behaviour!)

When someone makes a judgement on you, stop and look at the facts.  Don’t think of past behaviours where you have been under the influence of someone putting their insecurities onto you. Look at the situation RIGHT NOW.  You will more than likely see that the person judging you actually has the traits that they are projecting onto you.

And most importantly don’t feed the beast (the negative thoughts) as you will give them strength and build them up so much that they will eventually crush you from the inside out!

I know that you can think of times when you had confidence in abundance.  Perhaps before you met your power-hungry colleague, insecure partner or oppressive adult parent.  When you were a child.  You would do everything you wanted to do, you had confidence (although you didn’t know it then) and would give everything a try.  Only when people started to condition you with their feelings and judgements did you start to poke your confidence and wonder whether it was really as strong as you had once thought.

Remember those times.  You can get back to it.  We are all capable of maintaining a healthy and balanced level of confidence in our lives.  We must just take care of our own internal thoughts and voices and keep encouraging them to be positive.  That way you can feed them and starve the beastly negative thoughts that knock you down.

Confidence comes from within.  You feel it when you have it and you know when it isn’t there.  You need to build upon the feelings of having it there and notice what goes with it.  Do other people tell you have great you are?  Do you have great supervision sessions with your manager?

If you find that the people around you aren’t feeding your inner well-being and confidence then you need to review their need in your life.  I left my job with the micro managing colleague and have never looked back. My confidence shot through the roof and I am so much better than ever. The truth about confidence is that you need to maintain control of it. It is yours so protect it!

Sometimes the biggest confidence boost comes from deleting the toxic people from your life and realising that it was them and not you all along.

twitterlogoAll in all, remember that confidence is controlled by you and only you – don’t let other people have access to it!

How your environment affects your mood

 Clear some House Space Clear some Head Space

 

“I can’t concentrate, there is just too much flying around my head!”

“I feel like I have hit a brick wall!”

“My ideas just seem to be stuck inside my mind!”

 

Have you felt any of these feelings before?  Where it for work or in your personal life?

I have.  I have been feeling it all morning whilst trying to come up with a really good blog post to share with you all today. I have started so many different drafts of new posts that I suddenly think ‘Nah, that’s not going to work‘ or ‘Really?  You’re going to share that on a Friday?‘, click the save draft button and leave it to fester in my list of posts that maybe I’ll revisit and maybe I won’t.

Even my list of post ideas that I keep in my trusty notebook that sits beside me held absolutely no wisdom for me today.

It made me wonder why this was the case?  When I was in London a few weeks back, I sat in the hotel room and wrote article after article, blog post after blog post and even had quotes and pictures set up and scheduled.  So what is happening now?

 

Why do I feel so ‘Meh!’?

I believe it is because of the environment that I am in.  I feel absolutely great inside, happy for the weekend and planning a little get away camping trip.  I have wonderful things planned for the weekend – time with friends, good food and long walks with my boyfriend and borrow dog.  But something isn’t right. Something is stopping me and holding me back.

And this is where my environment comes in.  First thing this morning, I trod on a surprise hairball (barefoot!) on the bedroom rug then came downstairs to a sea of litter and am now sat on my settee looking at a perspex coffee table that I cant actually see through because of the amount of stuff on it!

I have let the cleaning go this week, having had the upheaval of a day with the Police, Forensics etc. on Tuesday, but I am positive the place has been worse than this.

 

Yes it has, but I wasn’t trying to be creative then.

Although our homes are somewhere that we can feel safe, secure and happy in whatever state we see fit, it can also act as a drain or a blockage for the things that you want to achieve.

A cluttered home creates a cluttered mind twitterlogo

 

I know that once the house is neatened and there is space around me it will automatically free that blockage and allow my creative thoughts to stream through my fingers.

 

How is your environment feeling to you?  Is it letting you be free or closing you in and drawing out your creativity?

Whether you are in an office or at home, you should make your environment comfortable and personal to you.  I used to love having a USB essential oil burner plugged into my computer at work, which created a lovely serene space for me.  I find that smell can change an environment dramatically and change it from awkward to comfortable really quickly. You would be amazed about how the environment affects your mood and the frame of mind you have on!

 

Here are tips on how you can make your environment more productive

1. Clear the clutter

Having a tidy work space means that you will have a tidy mind. You will be able to get everything done much quicker because you will be able to find everything.  By removing things that are not necessary to your life or work can be rather cathartic and help you to move forward rather than holding onto the past and things that have no positive effect on your life now.

2. Clean and Tidy

Now that you have decluttered, you need to make sure that your environment is clean and tidy. This will make you feel more comfortable where you are which in turn will allow you to think more freely.

3. Get some plants

Plants are a wonderful addition to any home or work-space as they look lovely and also they clear the air. There are a number of especially great air cleansers that I keep in my home such as: the ZZ (Zamioculcas), Mother-in-Law’s Tongue (Sansevieria_trifasciata) and Spider Plants which are all really easy to care for.

4. Create a designated work area

If, like me, you work from home and often find yourself slumped on the settee tying away and making calls, then finding a designated work-space is a valuable way to get some clear mind activity going on.  It doesn’t even have to be a room, it can be as simple as a desk or even a place in the kitchen where you can think and know is ‘work zone’.

5. Maintain a schedule

I am prone to rebelling against schedules (despite my previous life as an Office Manager!) but they really do help you to clear your home, clear your mind, get work done and leave lots of spare time for the things your really want to do like spending time with the kids, your other half or gardening (is that just me?)  By creating a schedule you can make sure that chores are carried out – which makes sure that point 1 and 2 are covered in this list, and you will have more specific times of work, which will already lead you towards the right mindset.

So now that I have managed to create my post for today, I need to get one with some cleaning and clearing to free up my head-space and enable me to produce something for you over the weekend!

It would be great to see how you change your work-space and transform your area to build a more creative environment, or even better share your pictures over on the Facebook Page!

OMG! Say NO; it’s the Right Answer!

Don't be scared to say NO

 

Have you ever found yourself saying ‘yes‘ to something when your mind is shouting a resounding ‘NO!!!!!!!!‘ in your head?

If you are a ‘yes’ person like me then you will more than likely have ended up in the situation where you are overloaded with other people’s work and problems and you start to drown in the amount of stuff that is piling on top of you.  You may have become stressed and run  down, ill and just about ready to throw the towel in.  The ‘YES‘ is killing you!!

I know exactly how you feel – I have done that to myself BIG TIME!  In my last job, my ‘Yes person’ got out of control and I was so stressed that I actually had to take time off (which is very unusual for me!) and make a resolution that I would never, ever let that happen to me again.  The thing is, I worked for a very small local environmental charity (with a staff number average of 6) which was obviously facing financial strains with the credit crunch.  My team was very stressed and I would spend my time trying my best to make sure that everyone else was OK and that they were as least stressed as possible which unfortunately meant that I took on way too much of their work and became the office ‘shoulder’.

At first it was fine, (I thought) I could handle it.  But when I began to realise that I was doing work that was easily within the roles of my colleagues (who were paid considerably more than me) then I began to become bitter at the taste of doing their work while they were seemingly doing the unimportant tasks such as redrawing charts…(!!)

Can you identify with this?

I was running myself into the ground, making myself miserable and the only person to blame was me!  ME!  OMG I am doing this to myself and continuing to do it every day, making it worse every time.

That was when I decided to start using the word ‘No’ ore often.

On returning to work (I had regular sessions with a trained counsellor trained Trustee to help me) I began to try out my new word, ‘NO‘.

At first people didn’t seem to believe me when I would say ‘no’ and they would either laugh and pass me the work anyway or just look at me with a bemused look.  I even had an occasion where a colleague said, ‘well you usually do it’ to which I mustered up the courage to say ‘well not any more’.  Can you imagine the look I received?  And the colleague stormed off.

It was a wonder I didn’t stop there and go back to my ‘yes’ ways to keep the peace.  You know the way you do when the balance goes off and you want to return it to a calm place.

But I didn’t.

I carried on and I didn’t apologise when I would say no.  You know the ways it comes out as though you really could have done it…

‘Sorry, but no, I can’t do that piece of work for you’  I began saying ‘No, I don’t have the capacity to do that piece of work for you’

…and you know what? It felt good.  REALLY GOOD!

I had regained my power, I chose the work that I would carry out and pushed back any work that was not mine to do.  I am not saying that it was an easy journey – certainly not – especially when you have been ‘yes’ for so long.  It is possible though.

Are you a recovering ‘Yes’ person? Then you need to try these simple steps to regaining control!

Tweet: Are you a recovering 'Yes' person? Then you need to try these simple steps to regaining control!  http://wp.me/p4TyK1-7k #YesPerson #NoPerson #TakeControl

Say ‘NO’

Try saying ‘no’ to yourself in the mirror.  If you have been saying yes for so long, you will need to get your mouth and tongue around ‘no’ again.  You want to look confident and sure when you sap that ‘no’ on the first unsuspecting person.  Make it louder, rounder, longer, shorter, snappier, whichever feels right for you.  Try a few on for size and work out which fits best.

Say ‘NO’

Say ‘No’ and mean it.  When you find yourself in your first ‘no’ situation, say it confidently and with honest meaning.  If you have a slight falter they will notice and you will end up like me with the work on your desk anyway and people thinking ‘what’s wrong with *Sarah*??!!’ *substitute for your name*

Say ‘NO’

And stick to it!  If you change your mind people will think ‘ah well, she will probably say no at first but if you try again, she’ll change her mind’  …and you know where that will lead?  Into stress and overload, misery and illness…so DON’T do it!

Say ‘NO’

Say ‘No’ when you know it isn’t something that is in your job description or you really don’t want to do.  If it won’t make you happy of bring you value in your life, say ‘no’.  It doesn’t hurt anyone by saying the little word and it most certainly will make you feel better in the long run as you realise that you are taking control of your life and the things and people you let in

Stick with it!

When you venture into the scary world that is ‘NO’ you will realise that it is actually not as scary as you once thought.  By saying ‘no’, nobody gets hurt, it gives a valid answer and shows boundaries.  It helps you to take control over the things that you want.

The path to recovery may be long, but you will get there!

Go and say ‘NOTODAY and let me know how you get on in the comments below…

 

Making a Bad Day Good

Every day may not be good but there is good in every day

 

You have had those days when it feels like the world is against you.  Things are just going wrong one thing after the other.  How do you remain positive and chipper when things just aren’t great?

The reason that this topic came to mind is that I had a day that just wasn’t great and it made me reflect on how I manage to stay cheerful and chipper in the face of adversity. This day was, in fact, yesterday!

How it all began…

It all started when I woke up and took a look out of our bedroom window, as do every morning to see what the weather is like and to see that there is a wonderful day ahead of me, only to notice that the walkway gate into our front garden was open.  I make sure that it is closed so it was strange. Downstairs I went, cats in tow, and checked the door for flyers – nothing, oh well!

I set about my normal routine feeding the cats and sorting out lunch and breakfast for my boyfriend and then sat down to prep for my clients coaching sessions that day in full force to get things done so that I could have an extra day with my borrow doggy (which was planned for today).

My boyfriend set off for work and with an unusual feeling noticed that things weren’t right out there.  He began to explore and shouted me out on discovery that our side gate was open and the chain and lock gone.

OH NO!

In my panic, I donned a pair of sandals and headed out in my cat pyjamas to check out what was going on with him. We found that nothing was wrong with the back of the house so put it down as strange only to then suddenly realise that the three (yes three!) padlocks from the garage had gone too.  That sickening feeling sunk in as we opened the door to the garage to the sight of a terrible mess and three bikes missing.

We were gutted – to the absolute core!  We had lost two bikes some three years ago and for it to happen again!

My boyfriend had to go to work so I set about working out my next steps.  My clients had to be informed that my day had been turned upside down and I had to contact the Police, my mind was racing and my heart was keeping pace!

Heart pumping, mind racing…

I sat. Trying to work out what I was doing only to be faced by a blank mind – not helpful in this kind of situation!  I gathered my thoughts and began the path to working through the issues – pushing all the self talk out of the door as it really wasn’t helping (you know the sort about how you should have done this and that which would have prevented it from happening…if only I had woken up…etc.) and got everything phoned through and arranged.

My clients were so incredibly wonderful and patient about the changes and being able to carry out the session in the afternoon brought more positivity into my world in that moment.

Despite the CSI team not being able to find any prints (these were clever burglars wearing gloves, using clothes and leaving the scene almost unidentifiable – even down to taking the bolts and debris with them!) I felt OK.

I felt OK?!

In fact, I was laughing and joking and carrying on as normal.  I was gutted, yes.  But I had to be thankful that the only things that went missing were things that could be replaced.  Thankful that it was the garage and not the house. That we were all safe and well. Thankful that two bikes remain in the garage and that we have insurance.

Yes I have had to shell out a fair amount of money on new locks, but that is nothing in the grand scheme of things.  At the end of the day it is just stuff.

So my tip for you is to find the good in every day no matter how much it hurts you, throws you off target or takes your breath away.  There is ALWAYS something good in there that you can find and hold onto.  Negative feelings from bad days cause more harm than anything, making the thoughts grow as you hold them and tuning them from seed to towering tree in a very short space of time.  Whereas holding onto the positive can grow and develop quicker and make a situation more bearable.

What good can you find in your day – even if it feels like the worst in the world?

Unlock your Super-Star Mindset and Fly Towards Success

You know that you have it in you somewhere.  That thing that will drive you forward and get you to where you want to be without all the huffing and puffing that you are doing now.  But what is it?  How can you even tap into it?

I can tell you what it is!  It is your very own Super-Star Mindset.

You may be thinking…

“If I had one of those, wouldn’t I have found it years ago?”

 

“I haven’t got one of those”

 

“Only successful people have one of those”

 

“What are you on about, woman?!!”

 

But you know what?  Everyone has one inside them, it just needs you to find the key to unlock it and release the full power hidden within!

Let’s start from the beginning… what exactly is the Super-Star Mindset?

The Super-Star Mindset is the place where you believe you can AND know you will.  It is all about building a place in your mind and belief system where you know that anything is possible if you put your mind and belief into it.

Look – it is the magical place in the middle where things happen and you feel the power of being an absolute Super-Star.  You can and will do the things that you want to.

Get the Super-Star Mindset

Looks like a fun place, hey?  Well it really is!

So how do you get there and unlock the world of goodies contained inside it?

You need to know what you want by setting yourself goals that will improve your life and bring you happiness, joy and fulfillment.  It is all about you, no-one else! From there you need to know that you will set out to get to the goals that you have set and truly believe in yourself that you can and will achieve them.

Self belief is the fuel for making the Super-Star Mindset more and more powerful, the clearer and stronger the self belief, the quicker and efficient the Super-Star Mindset works.  Think about putting in right fuel and clean oil into your car, it will run a whole lot smoother than if you were to leave the sticky old oil or even put in the wrong fuel!
Tweet: Get the Super-Star Mindset NOW! #SuperStarMindset #Greatness www.yourhappylife.co.uk/unlock-your-super-star-mindset-and-fly-towards-successYou don’t put the wrong fuel in your car, so why put the wrong thoughts into your mind?

 

The Super-Star Mindset doesn’t work automatically, you need to work with it and give it the care it needs.

To give your self belief a jump-start, write down all the times in your life when you have made great achievements.  Times that you have been using your Super-Star Mindset without even realising it.  You know, like when you got the job that you knew you were great for or when you dressed to impress and the hottest person at the party came and asked you to dance.  Any achievement where you believed in yourself and knew that you could do it.

Take a look at your list or mind map and really absorb the information.  You are AMAZING! You have the Super-Star Mindset already in place.

All you need to do now is to fuel it and use it!  Setup some sticky notes around your home, work station or computer to let yourself know how great you are and how you can and will achieve everything you want to.

Make sure that you include your name in some of them, just to reiterate that it is all about you and nobody else.

Here are my stickies on the door at the bottom of the stairs so that I can see them every morning and each time I go to leave the house for my 30 minute walking challenge.  It just gives me that little boost that I need to fuel my Super-Star!

Super-Star Mindset Your Happy LIfe

 

When you believe that you can do anything that you set your mind to and know that you will take the required steps to get there, you release the power of the Super-Star Mindset which gives you the jet pack to get there.  Without it you will remain in the same place as you always have been!

What will you do with your Super-Star Mindset?