Do you ever feel like you are not good enough? That you are small and insignificant? Have negative mind chatter that tells you that you are some terrible, terrible things?
These are all signs of low confidence.
You weren’t born thinking that you aren’t enough or that you’re small etc, someone or something made you feel that way and it could have been a long time ago meaning that you don’t even remember it happening.
The idea that you’re not good enough got into your mind somehow and has been growing over the years that it has been there and taking up your time and energy making your confidence plummet and more than likely affecting other parts of your life too. When you believe that you’re not good enough, you start acting that way by shying away from situations or people, apologising all the time and not trying new things.
You can change this way of thinking and go from ‘I’m not good enough’ to ‘I’m pretty good really‘
What you need to do is to develop new positive ideas about yourself and your life and then replace the ideas of not being good enough. This really works because they are both ideas and when you pay more attention to one over the other than they will become more powerful and you will change your beliefs.
Here are some things to help you to overcome low confidence and help you to grow your positive beliefs about yourself.
1. List the things that are OK about yourself.
Don’t worry if it takes you a while to think of the good things about yourself, it is just that you are out of practice thinking positively about yourself. Keep going, you will find things and they will start to flow once you get into the right positive space. Look at things that you have done well, when you have been helpful to other people and the names of people who like you. Anything that is good and positive about you.
2. Remind yourself that you are OK!
Yes, it might sound a bit odd, but it really will help you to move towards some more positive thinking in the times when you are feeling a bit out of control or small. The negative ideas have been floating around your head for a long time and they are going to put up a bit of a fight when you try to replace them so be patent and gentle with yourself with reminders that you are OK.
3. Turn negative to positive
When your negative self talk comes in, change it! For example, if you’re thinking that you can’t do something, remind yourself that you can and use something from your list from step 1. Remind yourself that lots of people like you and include a list of the people you identified and put onto your list. Remember, you are just like everyone else with good bits and bad bits.
4. Fake it ’til you make it (as we say in the Laughter Yoga world)
It may seem, that really confident people are just naturally that way but to be honest, pretty much everyone is acting in some way or form. If you can identify someone who you see as confident, study how they walk, talk and act and start to introduce those ways into your own life. Practice with trusted friends and family members and notice how you feel when you are acting in a confident way.
5. Stand tall
When your confidence is low you will find that you speak quietly, stoop or slouch, look away from people and perhaps go out looking scruffy because you don’t feel that anyone will notice you anyway. These are forming habits and will help you to stay in a low place so switch it up a bit. Speak a bit louder, stand and sit with your back straight and lift your chin, ke as mush eye contact with people as possible, stay neat and tidy (it’l make you feel good) and smile.
Remember that you are up to this and you can change your way of feeling and believing. I love the phrase:
‘what you feed grows and what you starve dies’
…so feed the positive beliefs and starve the negative ones.
And finally, don’t beat yourself up! You are going through a process to break old habits and beliefs so it may take a while. With practice and perseverance you will get there. You don’t have to be a perfect 10 to be happy and successful, 8 and 9 are just fine.
Here’s to being able to overcome low confidence and move you towards a more positive belief system which will help you to move onward and upwards with your life.
If you would like you share your experience, please leave a comment below.